Tuesdays with Morrie- but it's Sunday and I'm in a bus

During my 7 hour drive back from Macchu Picchu, I had a lot of time to think about the last few months of my life - and quite honestly, as it was 7 hours, my life in total. But I just want to speak about my last few months. 

One thing I’ve taken back from this philosophical moment of thinking about my life is that I’m scared about forgetting.

I’ve seen so much in the last 4 months, that I’ve already forgotten half of it and that makes me very sad. Even when I try my hardest to remember all the small details I always end up forgetting them. I always try to see the glass half full, which I think helps with this oblivion problem. Living life like it’s my last day on earth has been what I’ve tried to do every single day. But time just flies by so quickly and every morning seems like a week ago. I feel like I’ve lived 4 different lives already- so try remembering 4 lives: impossible! 

I’ve never felt as grateful and happy as I’ve felt these last few months, even more so these last few weeks. And I just wish my life could be a movie and I could watch it back whenever I wanted to. Relive seeing the snow falling down at the Rainbow Mountain or just meeting again for the first time the amazing friends I’ve met here in Cusco. But, I can only live these moments once and I’m aware of that now, which just makes every single second even more special to me. 

I guess, when I had just started my travels I didn’t think about that so much but now that I’m getting to the end of it, I just wish I had taken more of it in. The smells, the people, the views, the sounds, everything is just very blurry now. One big blob of memories all packed into a tiny part of my brain. And slowly but surely all the small details, like the joke someone made this morning at breakfast, will simply fly away. And that makes me very sad. 

But that’s why we take pictures, to be able to live again a bit of the past. To keep for our future selves a glimpse of our present. 

But at the end of the bus ride I came to the conclusion that I can’t do anything about it. That’s what makes life so beautiful and magical- it’s not eternal. Being aware of the futility of life is one the important lessons I’ve learned and I’m really grateful I was able to learn that: so early on and on my own. 

I had never seen time that way before but I’m glad I realised that- it just makes everything slightly more special.